As they got older, we met other kids for play dates, explored the children's museum, and were generally out and about the town. However, I wasn't so great at being consistent with exposing them to the same children repeatedly. They weren't developing relationships or expectations of people other than our immediate family. I knew when they were a year old I wanted them enrolled in a "school" type program. The word school is in quotes because I wasn't looking for an academic, strict, sit in desks and do worksheets type program, which is what most people think. I knew I wanted the kids to attend 2 days a week and only a few hours each day.
Sweet daughter sitting in a folded up tunnel
Around here, the closest thing is called a Mother's Day Out (MDO). They are typically run by churches and start at either 12 or 18 months old. The first problem was that my kids were too young for the cut off date by a couple of weeks. I finally found one program that they could start. I had my son attend on Tuesday and Wednesday, while my daughter attended on Wednesday and Thursday. This made Tuesday Mommy/Daughter day, Thursday Mommy/Son day, and Wednesday Mommy day.
Silly son sitting in same tunnel
There were many benefits to starting at this age. The first, is exposure to germs. Without exposure to germs, kids get sick more often when they are exposed. This is why most kids get sick constantly their first year in school no matter what age they start. The great thing about starting at a year is they can quickly fight many things off. For the first 6-7 months my kids were sick every Friday and Saturday. They were almost always better by Sunday and we started the cycle again. They developed great immune systems and I don't anticipate more than a couple of illnesses in future years of school.
Happily sharing (for the moment)
The also learned to trust someone other than a parent. They learned that we would always come back for them. They learned that some rules and expectations are different with different people/environments. They learned that the world is full of more than just the two of them. I loved reading their daily reports and hearing them tell me about playing with their friends. While the place I selected was loving and full of social experiences, I wouldn't describe it as educational. Luckily, I felt like I had those needs met at home. It was reasonably priced and met our goals.
Silly daughter trying to escape the baby gate.
One of the big questions asked of parents of multiples is, "Will your kids be in the same class?" So, here's how we approached that. We have always viewed each of our kids as an individual who happened to be born on the same day rather than as a unit. We have tried, since birth, to give each of our kids individual attention and time alone so they don't always have to share everything. This was our approach for school as well. As I mentioned above, they went on different days so that they each had a Mommy and me day. While they enjoyed school, they loved having my full attention. We explored new playgrounds, which is much easier with one toddler than two. We did more complex art projects, we read books, and generally just enjoyed our time. On the days they weren't together in school they came home and played together without fighting. They were sharing and happy and life was beautiful. The other days they acted like toddlers who didn't understand how to share or how to be nice. The one day they both attended they were in the same class. Their teachers also noticed a difference. They both were more involved and did better when the other wasn't in school.
Sweet son tired before nap time.
The main argument for keeping them in the same class is, if they are separated they will lose their twin bond. I try not to laugh when I hear this. Anyone who has multiples knows how silly this sounds. That bond is not going anywhere. The studies show twins separated at birth for decades still have that bond. How in the world these people think that a few hours a week will suddenly sever it is beyond me.
I am not saying that every set of multiples should be separated in school. Some twins (triples/etc) see themselves as a unit. Asking them to be in different classes is like asking your left leg to go to the store without you. It's absurd and will cause more pain and harm than good. This feeling of being a unit often decreases with age, which is why some people have a specific age in mind to separate them. In reality this is different for each set of multiples and should be addressed on a case by case basis.
What do you mean the costumes go here?
My kids have very different personalities and are drawn to very different social experiences. My son prefers to be in the middle of a group of boys and avoids spending time with adults that aren't family when possible. My daughter is all about being the center of attention when it comes to adults and will only play with other children if strongly encouraged. We are trying to provide comfortable, as well as new (and slightly uncomfortable) social experiences for both of them in safe environments.
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