Choices

Everyone tells you the importance of giving toddlers choices. It's important for them to feel like they have control or they will take control in areas you really don't want. What they don't tell you is how to do this without regretting it.

I want you to think I'm too cute to cause trouble.

Give only a couple of choices and make sure that you are open to them accepting either choice. "Do you want to clean up your books or blocks?" They get a choice and you are perfectly happy either way. If you ask, "Do you want to clean up?" They could easily answer "no" and you wouldn't be happy. We try to limit the questions they could answer with no, because it's really annoying.

Me, annoying? No

I have heard so many parents give choices they aren't acceptable. "Do you want to hold my hand or walk by yourself in the parking lot?" I have yet to meet a toddler that should be allowed to walk by themselves in a busy parking lot. A better question would be, "Are you going to hold my hand or do I have to carry you?" While your preference is clearly for them to hold your hand, either option is acceptable. 

We call this the reading couch.

I should admit I used this on my husband (then my boyfriend) for almost 2 years before he caught on and turned it around on me. "Are you going to do the laundry or the dishes while I'm gone?" The trick with adults is not to over use it. Then they catch on and tend to get upset that you are treating them like a child. haha

It does work well most of the time on children though. There are still times when nothing works... welcome to having children. It's also important to know when to pick your battles. You don't want to wear pants in the house, not a huge deal. You don't want to wear pants when it's 40 degrees outside, that's a battle I will win.

Not the easiest way to go around

I can't tell you how many times a day I say things like, "It's dinner time. Do you want broccoli or corn?" While it works most of the time, the rest of the time the conversation goes something like this:
Me: Do you want to read books or play with trains?
Child: No
Me: Do you want to build with blocks or play in the kitchen?
Child: No
Me: Those are your choices, which would you like: blocks or kitchen?
Child: No
Me: Are you being obstinate?
Child: No

Yes, my children could both use the word obstinate correctly before they ever turned 2. Some days are better than others.