Twin questions

The most recent data I can find shows that 3.5% of all live births in the US in 2007 were multiples. Multiples are becoming more common for 2 main reasons. #1 Older women are having more children. The older the woman the greater the chance of multiples. #2 Fertility treatments. What surprises most people is the increases is related to the age of the mother more than the fertility treatments. The news always seems to focus on fertility treatments and higher order multiples, but statistically that has only shown a small increase in the past 20 years.

 Our favorite tool box

It is amazing to me just how often mothers of multiples are asked if they used fertility treatments. Here's a general rule of thumb - It's none of your business. Would you ask that question if she had a singleton? Most successful fertility treatments result in a singleton birth. Would you ask a man if he was having fertility problems? Those questions seem absurd to many and yet if they see twins, it's their first question. Remember, it's none of your business. Personally, I look young so even if people knew that being an older mom was more likely to result in twins, they wouldn't assume I fell into that category. 

 coloring

 painting

Other typical questions (and my answers) that I hear:


Q. How far apart are they? 

1. 2 minutes (the truth)
2. 4 months (it's fun to watch them try to figure this one out)
3. Right now I'd say about 3 feet. (literal answer - this really confuses people)

Q. You have a boy and a girl. Are they identical?

1. No (Many people immediately realize this was a dumb question.)
2. No (When people argue, I point out that one has a penis and one doesn't. It's shocking how many people will continue to argue my kids are identical.)

Q. How do you do it?

1.   We don't have a choice. (honest)

 Why are we rolling the snow?

(ignore the 6 extra layers I'm wearing, I'm not really that big)

Having twins is not easy. It's not all fun and cute. Many times it is crazy, frustrating, and exhausting. I take that back, it's always exhausting! My house is rarely clean, though we go through cleaning supplies at an alarming rate. I try to keep things relatively clean - clean dishes, clean clothes, etc. The dishes may still be in the dishwasher rather than on the shelves and the clothes may be in the laundry basket or dryer rather than put away. It's about balance. My kids have all of their needs met. My kids get my attention, which is more important than putting away laundry and having a perfectly clean house.

They learned to turn the tent upside down while still inside just after this photo.

Another note, if you don't have multiples, don't tell a mother of multiples that you know what it is like. "My kids are only 2 years apart and that is almost like having twins." "My cousin has twins so I know what you are going through." "I have 3 kids and that is more difficult than having twins." Seriously, it's not a competition. Twins are hard. Triplets are harder. Most singletons are easier. You never hear a mom say, "My child has ADD that's almost the same as Autism" because it's not. It's not that one is always easier than the other, they are just different. Having 3 kids is difficult, but it's difficult in a different way than having twins.

The spaghetti matches my hair, don't you think?

Here is a video that, unfortunately, is common. It also explains clearly which child is my favorite.